My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize