if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
