I bet he comes in French.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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