literally had 100 drinks last night.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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