Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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