He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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