My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
