Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
