Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize