I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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