trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
