I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm just crazy horny about you
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
