Your face is a jimmy john
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
