My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
