Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
