she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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