THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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