I want to make a zoo with you.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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