My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
