bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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