I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
