Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
