3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
