just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
