Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
