I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
