I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You are a genius and a whore.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
