The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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