I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
from now on my penis is your penis
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
