dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
