I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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