i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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