i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
