Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
