Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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