He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
