Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize