Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
