I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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