You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
