he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
