i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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