i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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