I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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