after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
