I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
