But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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