Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
