just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
