Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
