Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
