He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
