I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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