Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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