he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
