who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
