My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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