Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
