So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
