pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
